Where's your Easter Baskets?

A few people have asked and I'm sure more have wondered; where are the girls' Easter baskets? Why don't we do them?

Well, we don't celebrate Christian Easter... we celebrate Ostara/Eostre, to start with. I would have celebrated on Ostara, but I was called in to work and worked all night until almost midnight. (Instead we celebrated all week over each day.) Most modern Easter traditions stem from Pagan practices, (read: all). Now throw in a heck of a lot of commercialism and pressure to do second-Christmas/Yule. So yes, we haven't done baskets for them. Last year my stepson and daughter-in-law made little baskets for the kids with jellybeans, necklaces, bracelets, and foam glasses. That was really cute but they lost interest in like five minutes and wouldn't eat the jellybeans. We did an egg hunt with my oldest (then three) who lost interest in looking after another five minutes and I had to go and retrieve all but one egg. So it was a bust.

Instead, we decided that this year we'd keep it simple. Today me and M made Ostara honey cakes (which turned out delicious), and in a little bit we'll boil the eggs to color later. The whole time we were cooking I was giving lessons on where the food comes from and how thankful we should be because of the sacrifices of the animals. I explained that even though our eggs are free-range, grass-pastured from humanely treated chickens that the chickens still treat their eggs like babies and they get sad when the farmers take them away. Things like that. She didn't end up enjoying the honey but it's a recipe I'll be making again!

We colored eggs and looked at the full moon and did things age-appropriate. We have chalk and bubbles too that we were going to take them out to use, but alas it has rained for almost the entire week! Darn Spring! We spread out our celebration and will have continuous talks about the seasons and celebrating each one. I have no problem making baskets for them in the future, but rest assured it will not be filled with sickly-sweet candy (that they don't like anyways), useless toys that break, or cheap stuffers that are meant to appease them and have nothing to do with the holiday. Oh no. If M and L decide they want baskets next year, it will be filled with something that actually celebrates Spring. A nice book about Spring, some coloring tools, maybe a plant or some gardening tools and seeds, and other varied age-appropriate things (I was thinking a crystal necklace for Maire or finger puppets of baby animals for Lili.)

I'm excited to build new traditions with my kids! It would be easier and nicer if we had our own yard, but until we do... there's plenty of other ways to celebrate.

Ostara Blessings Upon You

Full of Sass

So She-Hulk-1 and She-Hulk-2 ripped their door out of the wall this past month...not just off the hinges, but out of the wall. We're not sure exactly how they managed it because we had a metal door stop on the top hinge and a rubber stopper underneath the bottom of it and their room is carpeted. Today, they managed to pull the oven door off of their very sturdy, new wooden kitchen that my parents bought them. Thankfully we have it anchored to the wall because whatever they did, the kitchen door is irreparable.

They are both becoming very sassy little girls, they are alphas just like momma and dad. They know what they want, say what they mean, and have little to no patience. They are finally at the age where they stick up for each other and enjoy playing with each other most of the time. I never had a sister, so to me this is the best thing to be able to witness as their mama. I am so glad that, at least for now, they are each other's best friends (behind being mommy's best friend according to my four year old).

Right now, sitting at the table with me, Lili is singing "Twinka twinka 'tar" and "Row Row Row (Your Boat)" and Maire is teaching her The Wheels on the Bus, ABC's, and playing peek-a-boo and singing Daniel Tiger songs.

Besides that, they are so smart and so unique.

Maire's favorite tv show right now bounces around but she likes most of the educational stuff with some Courage the Cowardly Dog or Winx Club thrown in. Her favorite color is red and her favorite number is 4, and if you ask her she'll insist that they should be your favorites too. She loves to wear pink because it's "almost red" and she plays games on her tablet well above her age group (like games meant for 7-11 year olds) and she absolutely loves to read books. Another huge thing for her is she actually makes up her own stories to go with the pictures or tries to read the story from memory. She reads every single night before bed. She loves talking about Halloween and witches and how she's a fairy witch. She also now introduces herself as Mimi, Princess Mairead Rose. Full of sass!

Lili also really loves to read and books. Her favorite shows right now are Super Why, Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, and her favorite of favorites is "Yummy and Yucky", better known as Tommy and Chuckie from Rugrats. Sometimes she says their names, and sometimes she calls them Yummy and Yuckie. For just turning two, she's been really uninterested in learning her colors even though she loves to color (LOVES) but she has recently identified orange, yellow, and pink on her own (and she's known blue for a while). She loves bathtime, boats, balls, and "bays" (babies) although she isn't interested in hearing about the new baby coming yet.

These girls are huge too. Just last month we went to the ER because we all had bronchitis and it wouldn't go away on its own with homeopathic help, so we got some z-packs. Turns out, M tested positive for the flu so we probably all started out with the flu and didn't even know it except we were all suffering the lingering coughs and post-nasal drips (mine being the worst of us all). Lili and Maire's were so slight, even the ER originally thought it was just viral. But we did weigh and measure them. Maire is 42" tall, and weighed 40lbs. Lili is 36" tall and weighed 25 lbs. That puts M at about 62nd percentile in weight, and 50th in height. It also puts Lili in the 86th percentile for height and 54th in weight.

As far as Rainbow coming, J and I were going to throw a baby sprinkle because we've had a lot of people asking about our baby shower or if they can get the baby something and with no one down here to really throw us one, I figured I'd just have a little party for those who asked. Turns out my best friend N was planning a surprise one, so that blew away the surprise. But for me, that's okay, I don't need it to be a surprise for it to be special! Also, it helps because I hate not having even a little control over things.

My glucose test is Monday and I can't help but wonder if the next phase of pregnancy is going to drag or not. It already feels like I've been pregnant forever. I'm trying to enjoy every moment I can and I do treasure every kick and bounce, but I'm just ready to meet Rainbow already. I should be clear for homebirth if I pass my glucose and nothing else comes up! I can't wait for that too, although I'm nervous because I know what to expect this time. I know I could do it again, but I feel like if my labor is much longer than last time, I'm going to have a really hard time. Lili's labor was really short but really intense. I went from a 2 at 5:30 to an 8 at 8:15 to birth by fetal ejection reflex at 8:45 exactly. J missed most of the labor because we thought we had time and he had to keep running to the store for last minute items. I also wanted a photographer this time around but it just doesn't seem like we're going to be able to squeeze that in either. I'm kind of disappointed about that. Okay, maybe majorly. But I will get over it!

I have to start hypnobabies again soon, but darn it, with all this sass going on when will I have the time?! Hahahaha!

Viability

We passed a very important milestone this month. I held my breath through every appointment (some, quite scary) as we struggled to find the baby's heartbeat several times. I usually take weekly belly pictures and chronicle my journey but this time, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I felt like holding back was the only solution and I couldn't emotionally handle getting excited or hopeful. As time has gone on, it's gotten much easier. We of course picked names and as the baby started moving, we started to feel attached. That was scary too.

Emotions go up and down and it's really hard to find an even keel still. Although the wound has stopped bleeding, the gaping hole remains. We have a lot going with other things as well and it has made it just that much harder to dig up the motivation necessary to push myself into all the things I've been meaning to do! Which there's a huge laundry list, but we're getting there! Nesting has already started and we had to order a new playpen for Lili which is actually more meant for Eliza since Lilija will outgrow it soon. Which brings us back to viability. Eliza (well, our MaterniT21 testing determined baby was a girl, and ultrasound said *maybe* baby is a boy, but with our current record of two girls; we're going to go ahead and assume baby is a she!) reached viability on Leap Day. We had an appointment this past Monday and we're measuring right on track. It is a huge, huge weight off of our shoulders and we finally feel able to really be excited. I know that anything can still happen, but it was that one milestone that made the difference for us this time.

I'm looking for a new job but I'm not really sure anyone will be willing to hire me at 25+ weeks pregnant right now, but the job I currently have is causing too much stress and madness for us. The schedule is never regular except for knowing I almost exclusively work afternoons/nights and many of my shifts call for me to leave the house at 2:30-3pm and get home at 11:30-12am. The only thing keeping me from outright quitting is knowing we have Eliza coming. After she is born, I am pretty sure I will not be going back and instead will focus on trying to land a new (hopefully better paying, even just by a little!) job since the one I'm at is asking for me to basically be lower-middle management for barely minimum wage but still haven't been trained for all aspects of my job. I am just ready to wash my hands of it and move on to better things.

J and I took our friend out to dinner for her birthday today. We hardly get out and it's so refreshing to get out even for just an hour or two (yes, even wrangling kids in a busy, tiny but packed pizzeria) and not stress about errands we have hanging over our heads on my meager days off. We're going to plan some sort of babymoon I think but we haven't even tried to figure out what yet. I know it will all depend on my job's scheduling and approval for time off.

In the meantime I'm hoping to sink my claws into a whole slew of projects (hopefully) that will help with the lack of fulfillment I'm getting on the job front. I've shelved a lot of my interests and projects to work hard for this job and it feels like I'm hammering at granite with flint. I've sort of lost myself and I need to find my creative spark and madness again to offset everything else going on! Definitely something I've changed my mind on - growing up poor I vowed to put everything second to financial security and that you can't split your focus if you truly want to succeed; but I now see that you can have both even if it's difficult...because it's necessary. 

Overall, hurrah! I can't wait to see where this year is going to lead us after so many storms. The clouds can't eclipse the rainbow.