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Friday, May 13, 2016

Preparations

It's been a while since my last blog post because we've had so much going on! Mostly good news, so I can't even complain.

Firstly, we may be moving right after I have the baby. Our lease is up and they want to renovate this apartment and move us to a renovated one. So we've been going back and forth about whether we should agree to the move because though we don't mind moving, we don't think that we should be charged a "relocation" fee for something they want us to do. The bonus of the other apartment is also that is has a lot more windows, which I've been desiring for a while and it's a very short distance move if we decide to go for it. We've been tidying up for the birth (since I'm hardcore nesting) so this may actually benefit us if we move too.

Also, we ordered the home birth kit and put the crib together (side-carred to the bed). I ordered the birth pool Wednesday at my last prenatal appointment at about 34 weeks (according to the further due date I have). The appointment didn't go so well, my blood pressure was really high (for me) and my pulse was racing, and the baby's heart rate was also slightly high. I had a headache that day and combined with other symptoms I've been having including swollen joints like fingers, toes, ankles, and intense sharp pain on my right side abdomen she was worried about pre-eclampsia. The test came back negative for protein in my urine so it's definitely not pre-e although since the symptoms are still around she is sending me for an ultrasound Tuesday. I won't order the birth pool liner until the ultrasound just in case, however unlikely, my symptoms amount to more than end-of-pregnancy irritations. The upside to this is also that I can ask about gender for-sure and it will give me time to return anything if it turns out to be the opposite gender we're expecting (girl).

I haven't had a lot of spare time or motivation besides this as I'm still actively working a full schedule and trying to nest and deal with being pregnant because I'm so tired of being pregnant. I have never been this tired of being pregnant and it actually makes me a bit disappointed in myself. I'm in my own way, I'm in pain a lot of the time, tired, and I can't stop peeing every 10 minutes. I've been pregnant all but 3 months since April of last year (we will have lost the twins one year ago on 6/4) and while I'm thankful to be pregnant with a healthy baby; I just feel like I can't do much more of this. The upcoming angelversary of the twins I think has a lot to do with it, but also the uncertainty of when my actual due date is and how much longer I have to wait. I don't feel like the pregnant goddess I was with M and L, instead I feel like a frumpy old maid who's cranky all the time. I want to feel like me again. I want to have a glass of wine when I've had a hard day and I want to stop struggling to keep my blood pressure regular with the underlying POTS. I feel like it's a fight to do everything this time around.

Work isn't helping, they keep giving me extra long shifts (longer than nearly everyone else's at 7-9 hours) and except this week I've had 5 long shifts in a row with two days off each week. I know this sounds 'normal' but for what I do and how we're scheduled, this is actually pretty extreme of a schedule. Since I'm in customer service, I also work several different roles and they keep putting me in one role that is starting to become irritating and a strain because of my size and they keep doing it even though I've mentioned it. My midwife recommended I limit myself to 6 hour shifts max so they're in for a surprise next schedule. I'm also getting fed up with nearly every single customer mentioning my pregnancy. Because I'm already frustrated about how much longer I have to go (potentially up to 2 more months), telling me I look like I'm ready to pop and when am I going to stop working is literally going to make me blow up. I want to stop working but I also want as much time as I can get with the baby so it won't be anytime soon, so I really just want to slap everyone who asks.

This has turned into more of a whine than intended but I guess I needed to get it out! I really haven't been as miserable as this sounds, we've gotten tons of good news and there's plenty of times I feel great, but I must have pent up more than I thought! We also got our taxes back finally so I will be getting a few private driving lessons so I can just go get my license finally. It hasn't been a priority up to this point but it's become clear I really need to in order to make everything easier on all of us.

So anyways, we're just that much closer to being prepared for the baby! I can't wait for him/her to get here. Really.